Fighting for Grace – As a Child of God, As a Daughter, As a Wife, As a Parent, As an Educator….you name it.
I seriously have fears that my daughter is growing up missing out on something (not really sure what, but something) because I am an educator/parent-AKA “teacher mom” and she a “teacher’s kid.”
I felt so relieved when I read this great article, 7 Ways to Survive the Teacher Mom Guilt because it hit me that there are others that feel this way too! I am not alone. Recently I started reading For the Love by Jen Hatmaker. She uses humor and just plain realness to urge us to give ourselves grace in this unattainable Pinterest life world of impossible standards. It’s like she is encouraging us Teacher Moms to UNITE and stop this ridiculous guilt we place on ourselves. 🙂
It’s not only just the Teacher Mom Guilt. There is the dreaded technology time battle. I’m just going to be real y’all. Sometimes she wants to do something on it and I instantly answer, “You need to do something else.” It doesn’t matter if she hasn’t even been on it that day! #truth I have no reason other than my fictitious belief that a “good mom” is supposed to tell her child not to get on her device and do something outside. Right? Isn’t that how we grew up? 😉 You hear that voice in your head too.
- It takes away family time.
- We played games outside growing up.
- Too much screen time these days.
- It isolates them.
- They aren’t using their brain.
Then the other day something happened. I decided to say you know what, I can fluff the laundry one more time and just “play” with her what she was playing on her device.
Two things happened:
1.) What I judged as a mindless activity, was actually igniting her creativity. She was using her creativity in ways I am not sure I could have done, and quite honestly barely understood! This also led to me see a passion she had for something I didn’t know about. 🙂
2.) I got to see this when I stopped and gave myself grace to just “play” with her, like Jen talks about in her book.
Which leads me to the biggest realization that day, and that is that I realized our children are living in a different time. A different world. That is just the truth. Accept it or not, but it is not necessarily always a bad, evil thing.
Before you mumble under your breath, this lady is crazy suggesting technology time whenever…..please know that I am not advocating for kids to be on their devices all the time.
I am a big believer of everything in moderation, but this was the “quality time” that my child was wanting from me. That was it. Times have changed where quality time CAN happen using devices, and it does way more often than we imagine if we open our minds to it. Think of all the amazing things that come from YouTube creations, and lately the musical.ly videos that all kids are completely loving!
Here is the beauty of the lesson I learned. We were doing something she loved and saw as quality time instead of spending quality time only doing things that I felt met the “criteria.” What criteria, you ask? Oh, just the expectations I felt I had to meet that were not mine! Thanks Jen for giving me that okay to give myself grace to do it our way without feeling like a bad mom!
We had more fun in those moments together than any of the ones I had created this summer on our list! She made the comment about how much she has wanted me to play that with her. That hit me pretty hard. I “play” things with her, but I never realized how many of them are things I encourage because of my own agenda. (Have to multi-task while I play, want her to learn things and create, use critical thinking, practice her talents, want her to read or write, math, etc….teacher mom problems). There go those impossible standards again.
Quality time is not seen as quality time to our children if they do not connect with it, and if they do not view this time together as happy and fun does it really become a precious memory? Maybe. Maybe not.
Times have changed. What some children enjoy and can do for hours is like nothing we could have possibly imagined. Yet, if we open our minds to stop and “play” we might discover just how passionate and creative they are being.
All they want is TIME doing the things THEY love WITH us. Making moments. The moments that will carry us on and become precious memories. These moments might look different than we know from our childhood, but different is good. I know my goal is to embrace it and give myself grace!