It seems we do not find our One Word, but really it finds us. Such is how it happened with me this year.
I have always been a person who deeply values authenticity and transparency in people. What you see is what you get with me. I do not have ulterior motives and my naive side truly wants to believe no one else does either.
I am transparent. I am authentic. I am real….to a fault. I couldn’t even try being anything else…my facial expressions would totally give me away! While even though I have accepted this and own that this is just me, I still sometimes fall victim to feeling not enough.
Not enough of me to do it all.
Not enough of a daughter.
Not enough of a wife.
Not enough of a parent.
Not enough of a teacher.
Just not enough…and so I keep going, going, doing and doing.
Over Thanksgiving break I received some lab results that answered questions I have been seeking for a few years now: severe adrenal fatigue. The short version: the only way to fix this was to get real sleep. This is actually comical if you know how much I love to sleep, but really struggle to shut off my brain to stay asleep all night. I had to make major changes to my lifestyle and gain nutrients/minerals that I am deficient in because of being depleted by adrenals working overtime. Sounds crazy, but it is quite interesting to learn how they all work together.
Fast forward 4 disciplined weeks and a doctor/nutritionist checkup. While all the changes I am making are great, until I sleep more none of this will dramatically increase. Well…that’s just great! Onward to my next goal: Sleep.
The reason I shared that story is because all of this happened in the midst of soul searching for my 2017 One Word. I went through them all: Surrender, Embrace, Release, Disciplined, Rest, Joy, Fun, but something always brought me back to this:
I read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown the other night in one sitting, it was THAT good! It is about letting go of who you think you are supposed to be and embracing who you are. I never have thought of myself as someone who has to be perfect or that there is a way I am supposed to be. However, I didn’t even realize until I felt tears coming down my face that to some degree I do this in a different way. I don’t compare myself to others, but I do a pretty incredible job comparing myself to myself a year ago. I am truly my own worst critic. Aren’t we all?
So while I considered the word Surrender (to being me) and Embrace (who I am is enough) I came out with ENOUGH!
I am Enough.
I have Enough.
If I give my best, I have done Enough.
I have Enough fun.
I give more than Enough love.
I get Enough REST…..because this is where my journey begins.
I love this quote. I mean, imagine….Unbecoming everything that isn’t you to reveal who you were meant to be! Sometimes just to cope and get through the day, or because in certain situations it is expected of us, we push back the real us. Sometimes we may not even know we are doing it. This only holds back who we are meant to be in this life. And that, my friends, is ENOUGH!